DAY WHATEVER

I'm pretty sure Cardio Corpse is dead.

DAY THREE.

I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing. Day three? It's been a lot longer than three fucking days.

Here's the deal: I lost 20 lbs during the month of March. I did it by eating pretty much nothing but birds, beans, eggs, and vegetables, and working out 3-4 times a week. Nothing too taxing. Every Sunday is a cheat day where I can eat whatever I want in whatever quantities I want, but the rest of the week is pretty strict from dawn to dusk. Day starts with two whole eggs and some whites about 15-20 minutes after I wake up, and then three or four smaller protein-heavy meals for the rest of the day.

My workouts are usually just 30-45 minutes of moderate lifting, followed by 30-50 minutes of moderate cardio. That's it. The diet pretty much takes care of the rest.

Here's some proof:

March 1st, 2011 (203.5 lbs)


April 1st, 2011 (184 lbs)


Cool disguises, huh?

Listening to:
Aura Noir
Every Suffocation record on "shuffle"
Mouth of the Architect
Repulsion

DAY TWO.

Quick update:

After two weeks, I can safely say the diet is working... and very, very quickly. The constant influx of protein is really sating and I barely even crave anything anymore. Half the time I don't even bother with the beans and just eat eggs, chicken, turkey, and veggies/salad. The meal plan is so simple and basic you literally can't fuck it up.

Weight last week: 198
Weight today: 192

Total lbs lost: 11
Total inches lost: 8.3

This is with really minimal exercise, too. Maybe 3 or 4 days a week at the gym, for about 45-60 minutes a session. No hour-long stretches of brutal running or can't-walk-the-next-three-days leg workouts. usually focus on a body part or two for 20 minutes and then go walk on an incline for a bit while watching Animal Planet. Like I said... easy.

Oh, and congrats to Branch Warren on taking 1st at the 2011 Arnold Classic. Way to go, bro....your legs are disgusting.



Hey, did I mention I kicked caffeine, too? No diet coke, no coffee, no Splenda. All H2O, all the time.

Feeling good. Even if I fell off the wagon tonight, it's good to know that 192 lbs is officially the weight where my double chin disappears.

Listening to:
Vasaeleth v. Vorum EP
Benighted - Asylum Cave
Rise & Fall - Our Circle is Vicious
Die Antwoord - whatever the fuck that thing is called
Neuraxis - Asylon

DAY O....ONE.

It has been and embarrassingly long time since my last post, and in that time, I have amassed an equally embarrassing amount of fatness to my stocky 5'10" frame. Since being fat sucks, I've decided to actually take some drastic measures in order to drop a few pounds:

1) Stop eating everything in sight until it is gone.

2) Start going back to the gym.

3) This one is rough....but....follow a strict SLOW CARB DIET like in that retarded 4-Hour Body book.


I know. I think that guy is a quack, too, but I read the weight loss section of the book and decided I'd try it out for an experiment. The basic premise is that you simply don't eat any white carbs: no potatoes, rice, pasta, or marshmallows. You also eat a ton of protein in the form of eggs, chicken, lean beef etc.. as well as all the (non-starchy) vegetables you can cram down your gullet. Legumes are also included in this particular diet, so beans and lentils are scarfed on a daily basis. No sugar, no dairy, no fruit. Just the same handful of whole foods, multiple times a day, every day.

It's actually not that bad.

I started last Tuesday and I've already lost 5 pounds, so I feel pretty encouraged. I've started to realize that just eating smaller amounts of better food is probably a lot easier than finding the time and energy to run 5-10 miles every day. The large amount of protein also helps keep me sated much more than the carbohydrate bonanza I'm usually eating, so I'm barely hungry at all anymore. I'm gonna do about 3 or 4 moderately strenuous gym sessions a week as opposed to some crazy-ass over-the-top routine that I can barely maintain without feeling the need to eat a bowl of pasta every other minute or two.

So. Here's the stats:

34 year old white male.
Starting weight: 203
Current weight: 198
Listening to: that new Deicide jam.

Maybe I'll start updating a little more regularly, too.

DAY THIRTY ONE.

Exercise: not actually worth it.

DAY THIRTY.

Man, those 45 lb dumbells seriously obliterated my pectoral muscles and I'm fucking pissed about it.

DAY TWENTY NINE.

Back workout last night, followed by 50 minutes of interval cardio:
4x15 pulls downs
4x12 smith machine rows
4x12 machine rows
3x12 cable rows


Still trying to take it easy, since my body is already starting to suffer under even the most miniscule amount of strain.

Clean eating, though. Grilled chicken w/ 'brown rice' couscous for lunch and dinner. Egg whites (on Dave's Killer Bread) and a couple slices of veggie bacon for breakfast. An apple with natural PB for a snack.

I feel like garbage.

Listening to:
The Secret
Immolation
Swans

DAY TWENTY EIGHT.

Normally, the first thing you do after a long layoff from the gym is march right up those fucking steps, grab some dumbells, and see if you can chest press anywhere near the amount of weight you were lifting before you turned into a lazy slob. I've never been one to ease into anything, but I promised my girlfriend I would take it slow this time, because I pretty much always overdo it and wind up wincing in pain for days on end while just trying to put on clothes and shit. So I took it easy with just 4 sets of pressing excercises (machine and dumbell) and then did 40 minutes of interval cardio.

It was all very difficult, because I am fat and out of shape.



The good news is that I haven't quite reached the 200's (or even 190's for that matter). I weighed in at 186.5 lbs, so the road ahead shouldn't be too rough. It's mostly a matter of controlling my caloric intake and not going off the rails on a pizza train.

Listening to:

Vulvectomy - POSF
Amon Amarth - With Odin on Our Side
Hatebreed - Satisfaction in the Death of Desire
Suffocation - S/T

DAY TWENTY SEVEN.

OKAY. We're back. After several months of low-to-zero physical activity (and a lot of pizza), it's time to get back on the wagon. Since I'm incapable of doing anything in moderation, I'm just going to jump back into full-force, and see what happens. My first order of business is to detox from sugar, and then caffeine. You guys have no idea how much sugar I've ingested over the last several weeks, but I assure you it would be enough to kill a small child. Still, I'm actually a little more worried about the caffeine withdrawal, since I already have a pounding headache from substituting water for Diet Coke today -- even though I had a giant triple iced Americano this morning.

So whatever. I've obviously put on a bunch of weight in this time, although at the time of this writing, I don't know quite how much I've packed on. But I definitely look pretty gross with my shirt off, so I'm pretty sure it's substantial. I imagine I'm around 200 lbs or so, but I'll confirm our worst fears tonight when I weigh myself at the gym.

No regrets, though. I like the ups and downs of physical fitness.

The half-assed plan at the moment is to get at least 4 or 5 weight workouts in a week, followed by at least 30 minutes of cardio. The diet is a back-to-basics plan: smaller portions of grilled chicken, brown rice, vegetables, whole grains, and egg whites. Maybe some protein shakes and shit in there. I don't know.

I might even go running in the morning with our new puppy, which would be good because I tend to blame most of my relative inactivity on her very existence.



More details as I figure this shit out again. Thanks for hanging in.

DAY TWENTY SIX.

I might get back on the wagon soon.


Maybe.